I Hate the Rain
by No Blood For Oil
Summary: A certain someon's thoughts on a certain pairing. I can't tell you more without giving away who the person is, but I will tell you that one of the people in this triangle is Sakura. Bon appetit!


I hate the rain- by 'On Wings of Sakura'  
  
Disclaimer: do the mega-conglomerate anime companies like Nelvana *bakas that they are* ever carry out their 'threats' to sue people if they don't say that they don't own the anime? Well, what is everyone afraid of? The big bad corporate bogey man? Well, I know I'm not. I am just a simple girl, who just happens to love anime. Not from the companies, not representing the companies, not even related to the execs of the companies. So, I will not include the standard 'I don't own this anime, don't sue, you'll get zilch' disclaimer. I am not pretending to own these animes, and therefor will not get sued. And, for those of you who are afraid of the big bad corporate bogey man, you just keep living under your bed. In other words, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
And now, the fic.  
  
I Hate the Rain  
  
A dark, empty  
  
Chasm  
  
My soul  
  
A void  
  
Where my heart  
  
Used to be  
  
Emptiness  
  
Lonliness  
  
An abyss  
  
Life is  
  
Meaningless  
  
My life  
  
A shadow  
  
Its former self  
  
In tatters  
  
The only remnants  
  
Are memories  
  
Of you  
  
  
  
I stared at the last line I had written, almost in a trance. My journal. It was almost full now. 2 years. 2 years of thoughts, and memories...  
  
Of you. How could you?  
  
The sound of a dog barking broke me out of my reverie. I glanced at my alarm clock.  
  
"1:00 am? You have been getting to sleep at ungodly hours!" I chided myself. A deep sigh overtook me as I sank further into depression.  
  
"A good cold shower will help." I said to myself. I walked into my bathroom and turned on the shower faucet.  
  
Drip  
  
Drop  
  
Drip  
  
Drop  
  
That sound...so familiar...  
  
Rain...  
  
It was raining that fateful day.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
We were in the park, sitting on the end of the penguin slide. My beloved turned to me, her eyes twinkling.  
  
"I remember we used to come here all the time. All the gang." She said, looking nostalgic and staring far away into space. I cleared my throat, and she snapped back to attention. "So, tell me, what is it you wanted to say?" She asked looking straight at me. I fumbled under her gaze, all my courage failing me as I racked my brain, trying to think of a way to tell her.  
  
"I...I have something to tell you." I said. 'Oh, real smooth!' I thought.  
  
Her eyes twinkled. "Hai, I know that. Demo nande?" She urged me.  
  
"..."  
  
"Out with it!" She said.  
  
I took a deep breath. "Ai...Ashiteru." I mumbled.  
  
"Nani?" She asked, her lovely face slightly confused.  
  
"Ai...Ai..." I started.  
  
"Oh no!" She whispered. Her eyes opened wide, pleading me not to go on. But I couldn't stop.  
  
"Aishiteru!!" I said, instantly regretting it. Her eyes opened even wider, and she stared at me in shock.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
I had finally decided to tell her, after 12 years of debating with my inner self. 12 years of torment. I had blurted it out, hoping. Hoping. Oh, how I had been a fool. A blind, lovesick fool.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
"You're not kidding, are you?" It was more of a statement than a question.  
  
"Iie." I replied.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Well?" I asked, dreading her response.  
  
Still. Silence.  
  
"Onegai, for the love of kami-sama, SAY SOMETHING! Anything! I don't care what, just talk! ONEGAI!" I pleaded, tears already forming in my eyes.  
  
It started raining then. I could feel the drips dropping off the brim of my hat, splashing into nothingness on the ground.  
  
"Gomen." She finally said. "Gomen nasai." Her eyes were downcast, refusing to look at me.  
  
"Nani? What do you mean?" I yelled, grabbing her by her shoulders and shaking her, my worst fears confirmed.  
  
"Aishiteru," My heart leapt "demo, only as a friend can. Like a...like a brother or sister, nothing more." My heart sank into the deepest depths of the ocean.  
  
"You don't love me then?"  
  
"Iie...I love someone else."  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
Those 4 words. Those 4 simple words. Meaningless when apart, but together, those 4 simple words ruined everything.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
"Then tell me, Sakura," I spat "who is it? Who do you" I nearly choked on the word "love?" I pleaded, tears running down her face. I could have sworn I saw tears in her eyes too, demo, that could've been the rain. I heard her mutter something.  
  
"Nani? I didn't hear you."  
  
She muttered it again.  
  
Realization suddenly dawned as I staggered back, my eyes wide. "It's HIM, isn't it?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Well? ANSWER ME!" I screamed. She flinched, then nodded her head in defeat.  
  
"Iie...iie...iie...iie..." I whispered, not wanting to believe it. "You're lying..."  
  
She shook her head. "It's true. We got engaged last week." She thrust her right hand forward, which she had been hiding. On her finger, was a ring. A diamond in the middle of a sakura.  
  
Oh kami-sama.  
  
"I was going to tell you..." She faltered, seeing my expression.  
  
"IIIEEEEEEEEE! It can't be true, it just CAN'T!" I yelled, desperately trying to convince myself. when she made no move to deny it, I couldn't take it anymore. I ran off into the rain, crying like I had never cried before.  
  
"WAIT!" She yelled, desperately trying to catch up to me. I stopped short, my shoulders quivering. I clenched my hands into fists.  
  
"No, don't bother, Kinomoto-san." I saw her face register shock as I used the honorific. "Go to him. Go to your 'little wolf' I spat, every word literally dripping with hate and venom. "As far as I'm concerned, Syaoran can have you. I don't care one whit. From this moment on, consider our frienship OVER!" I yelled before dashing off once more.  
  
"MAAAATTE!!!!! ONEGAAAIIIIIIII!!!!! TOMOOYYOOOOOO!!!!!" I heard her cry as her voice faded away into nothing.  
  
Like me.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
Another deep sigh overtook me as I stepped out of the shower. I turned off the water, wrapped myself in a towel and sat down on my bed.  
  
"Itai!"  
  
I had accidentally sat on my journal. I picked it up and stared at the cover. It was a photo of all of us 2 years ago, when we were still in college. Eriol-kun, Sa...Kinomoto-san, Syaoran, and myself. Syaoran had his arms around Sa...Kinomoto-san's waist, and she had her right arm around his shoulder. Come to think of it, this was taken a week before my confession. I noticed a little white dot on her hand. Oh kami-sama. It was the ring.  
  
MASAKA!  
  
I had started my journal that same day, putting the photo on the cover. How could I have been so BLIND? How could I have not seen it? I, who loved to play matchmaker, failed to see the obvious attraction between the two! But of course, it's not that I failed to see it, I just failed to accept it. I had pushed it away into the furthest recesses of my mind, hoping, hoping, that it would go away. I was wrong. So very wrong.  
  
I flipped to the very first page of my journal. I stared at the very first paragraph I had written.  
  
Tonight, I'm going to tell Saku-chan. Tonight is the night. I have made up my mind. We're going to meet by the penguin slide tonight. And then with the stars in her eyes, I'll tell her. and She will love me back. I'm sure of it. And then we'll live a long, happy life, together for ever. I can't wait! I noticed something though. She seems to be hiding her right hand from me. I saw a flash of light on her hand, and I asked what it was. I pulled her hand towards me, but she snatched it away and said it was nothing. I wonder what it could be? Oh well. G2G, it's almost time for me to meet her. Wish me luck!  
  
Oh, how more naive could I possibly get?  
  
And what of me now?  
  
I've finished college, and as soon as I could, moved to England, as far away from Sakura as I possibly can be. Some people might think it's to be with Eriol, but I know better. I wanted to get away from those memories...so many memories...  
  
As far as I can tell, Kinomoto-san and Syaoran are living a happy (married) life in Hong Kong with Syaoran's clan. Kinomoto-san wrote me back and told me that his family was very pleased with her and that she and Syaoran are expected to become the heads of the clan after his mother dies.  
  
I couldn't be happier.  
  
Oh. It's started raining.  
  
I used to love. As a child, I couldn't get enough of splashing in the puddles, dancing in it, opening my mouth and trying to catch the raindrops on my tongue. But now, reflecting on my past, reflecting on my future, I can only think of one thing.  
  
I hate the rain...  
  
  
  
Hiiro: *sniff*  
  
Me: Hii-kun! You're crying!  
  
Sakura: Hoe! The end of the world is nigh! Cower under your beds, for the perfect soldier has shown emotions! The end of the world is nigh!  
  
Hiiro: Aren't you supposed to be living a happy married life in Hong Kong with Syaoran? *glares*  
  
Sakura: Iie, we're on vacation! The end of the world is nigh! *runs off screaming*  
  
Me: -_-0  
  
Hii-kun: Review, or else *points gun threateningly at viewers* Omae o korosu  
  
Me: You know the drill ^_^0 No flames, onegai? Arigato! =^,^=  
  
Ja! 


End file.
